“Confidence: How to Succeed at Being Yourself”

Alan Loy McGinnis does an excellent job at having us point our own finger at our own brain when it comes to our sense of being. In his book, “Confidence: How to Succeed at Being Yourself”, he mentions a few valuable lessons that we must realize and remember. One big one is that we may not always get what we want, but instead we will most likely get what we expect. We work towards what we expect. If we expect a day filled with difficulties and tension, we will end up complaining of a horrible day in the evening. If we wake up with an upward attitude, we are more likely to laugh at certain small mistakes, forgive others for their own and enjoying our day a bit more.

In another chapter of his book, Alan beautifully describes the importance of coping with rejection- a world that seems to be a maze for many. Not everyone will love you. You won’t get along with everyone. Realize that that’s okay! Sometimes that one person had a bad day and just has too much on his mind and has a grouchy expression on his face- it’s nothing that you did. You can still talk to that person tomorrow- don’t assume that he hates you already. After this one bump, our mind may turn into turmoil on a treadmill- assuming any time some gets mad, it's because of something WE did, and it’s going to happen again and again. This is what leads to depression and self-hate. So raise your head up and forgive yourself for assuming anything.

Last topic I want to highlight from the book is Alan’s mention of love leading to self-confidence. Sometimes, yes, it’s better to walk away from someone, but don’t walk away from everyone. Keep trying to connect. Of course, one may need a night alone to reconnect with themselves at ease, but our good relationships bring a feeling of being needed and loved. A solid built relationship of any kind bring a sense of importance in ourselves. How do you feel when a friend calls you late at night crying about feeling lost in life? You are the one she called. She trusts YOU. You’re there for that friend, and they are there for you. You are important to someone.